With compassion and respect, the dedicated staff at Finger Lakes Donor Recovery Network honor every donor hero, support their grieving families with unwavering care, and passionately fulfill the Donate Life mission that turns tragedy into hope and saves countless lives.
Writing to Your Donor Family
Writing to Your Donor Family
After receiving an organ or tissue donation, you may want to communicate with your donor’s family. This is a very personal decision and one that can be difficult to make. The most important thing is to do what is best for you.
Correspondence is anonymous and facilitated through the transplant center of the recipient and the organ procurement organization (OPO) associated with the donor. While identities are kept confidential, you may choose to share non-identifying information about yourself, your family, and what the transplant means to you. For a donor family, this information can help with their grieving process.
Initially, the transplant center and OPO serve as the go-between during correspondence. However, if both the recipient and donor family decide they want to be in direct contact, both parties can sign agreements to meet or share contact information.
If you would like to write to the family of your donor, you may send a greeting card, note, or a letter.
Here are some things that may be helpful:
General Information
Your first name only
Your job, occupation, interests, or hobbies
Family composition and/or important relationships (please, no last names)
Your organ transplant experience (use simple language and communicate in a sensitive manner)
Since the religion of the donor’s family is unknown, please consider this if you are including religious comments.
Closing Your Correspondence
Sign your first name only
Do NOT reveal the city or town that you live in, your address, phone number, or e-mail address
Do NOT reveal the name or the location of the hospital where you received your transplant
Mailing Your Correspondence
Place your card or letter in an unsealed envelope
On a separate piece of paper include your full name and the date of your transplant
Place and send these items in another envelope addressed to your transplant center
Send the correspondence to your Transplant Coordinator
Handling Your Correspondence
Your transplant coordinator will review your letter to ensure its confidentiality, removing any identifying information. It will then be forwarded to the appropriate Organ Procurement Organization (OPO). The family services coordinator at the OPO will then send your correspondence to the donor’s family. It may take a few weeks after you mail your correspondence for the donor’s family to receive it.
If you choose to communicate with the donor’s family, you may or may not hear from them.
While many families are very interested in receiving communication from the recipients of their loved one’s gifts of life, they may be overwhelmed with emotion and have difficulty expressing their feelings. It is also important to remember some donor families prefer to remain private. It may take several months or years before a donor family may feel comfortable writing to their loved one’s organ recipients.
If you need more information about writing to your donor’s family, reach out to your transplant center or call Finger Lakes Donor Recovery Network and ask to speak to a family services coordinator.